Hi all. I have been with my adhd partner for 10 years, we have two small kids. Throughout our relationship I have dealt with emotional and verbal abuse from him. A couple years ago I left him because of this, but we ended up getting back together after about 6 or 7 months. He is no longer abusive like he used to be, but he also hasn't made any progress in his sensitivity towards me. I have given him everything he has, supported him through all the times he didnt feel like working (which has been most of the relationship up until a few years ago), I have always picked up the slack, I have basically been a mommy to him and not a 50/50 partner. When we got bak together he finally agreed to medication for his adhd. It does help but I still dont think he is managing his condition well at all.
So my biggest thing right now is how he is not there for me when I need him to support me emotionally. I have my own problems but when I try to talk to him about what Im feeling, what Im going through, he acts like I just need to buck up and get over it. There is never any validation. He actually gets mad at me and starts fights with me if I dare to address any of my personal issues. For example, I have been very sad this week as my cat has to be put down, and Im crying a lot, and he acts like Im personally attacking him or something, he just says I shouldnt be so upset and I dont have a right to be upset. blah blah blah. Being so insensitive and rude. It breaks my heart..... Its like Im not allowed to feel what Im feeling around him.
I need some advice, please help :)