I was not even aware that my husband was addicted to porn until I read "Melissa's book", and until I finally saw it with my own eyes.I was with and always is with my ADHD husband on weekends, by his apartment with him, and yesterday his cable bill came and I looked at it when he was asleep in the drawer where he keeps his bills,I saw that the cable bill is 5 hundred dollars more than the actual cost,and I was in shock!!!! not so much he is watching porn but the amount he purchased in the month of February,more than 15 adult dirty movies and the dates in these purchases and the names of the pornography is like "teen girls"etc: etc:,I am feeling pure hurt right now, and I don't even know if I could even stay with him any more after what I saw today.I am disgust by this,,,,,, really disgust!!!,I never knew that he was doing this at every single evening after he drops me home and "all the time",I know that he watches them maybe twice a week but after seeing the bill he is watching them every night!!!!"EVERY SINGLE NIGHT"!!!!!!!The names and types of adult movies he watches is" little girls" and the man is almost 50,what the hell is he doing!!!!!why is he doing this and so much?what is his problem,I never refused him and I am always by him,we may not always be intermit all the time because we work work work all week and hard work so I am tired and I sort to think he would be tooo but apparently not!
I am afraid that this addiction would lead to an actual affair,,after all it was clear that these are the addictions of ADHD,and I am very scared that this might take place before he starts treatment or take meds which he promised me he would, and he did indeed admit to me that he is not well and knows it.I am in fear that it would be too late for both of us,I am afraid to confront him with this and if I do it could lead us in a serious argument and him in a result of shame,and I don't want him to get embarrassed,,,,,, I am suffering this in silence.I don't even know what to do any more with this and what hurts the most is that I can't even have a decent conversation with him,, without him chasing me out of his apartment like a dog!!!So I stayed and grieved in silence with him next to me and my back turned to the next side and tears streaming down my face first with anger because I can't say nothing and then pain because I can't talk about it and then tremendous hurt because I can't talk to him about it and tell him how I really feel.."I WANT THE PORN TO GO AWAY" I want him to stop stop stop stop!!!!!!! I love him and he is ripping my heart to pieces.Sadly he will never know and maybe only when divorce papers reaches his desk at work then he might know..IDIAT!