His Addictions

We have been together for over two years, living together for one. He has undiagnosed ADHD and has been self medicating most of his life. Fortunately, his addictions aren’t as bad as they could be and are smoking, alcohols, sugar and speed (motorcycle). By sheer will, he had all but quit smoking and drinking but when he slows doing one, another increases. 

I just learned that he recently started smoking again and has been keeping it from me. I feel so betrayed and hurt and am having a heard time getting past it.  Now, when he’s not with me, I’m always thinking the worst. 

Ive been trying to get him into therapy for an official diagnosis and meds but he was without insurance for a while and now that he’s on state insurance the HMO has taken four months to refer him to a therapist. I’m the meantime, he’s prescribed him Lexapro for depression, which has helped slightly.

But the addictions, are a symptom of the ADHD and dopamine deficiency and I’m trying to be patient but it’s so hard.