His Mother in the way

My in laws came to visit us over the weekend. His mother is very controlling and want things her way. I have try to please them as much as I can. Still my husband tend to blow it off with his mother over small thing. Such as so when are you coming over to our place. she said at 10:00 am but noon she is still not here... she shows up at 1 pm. He get mad and start a fight. then they cool off... then she starts picking on him, why your shirt has a hole in it and you are wearing it. You need to check this out you can't have this here or there. Why you kid is eating that... you shouldn't let him eat that. On the top of all that... she then come to me... she said in our family that how we do thing and you should be doing that. I said to her well.... I am glad it is working for you but I am not going to do that. then she turn to my husband and tell him again that we should do thing her way.

We stay overnight at hotel... with a connect room... she always favor my son... she wants him to sleep in her room and I said fine. but my daughter will feel bad... then she said okay we can have both so you and my son can talk... what she mean she want me to have sex with him.  That day.. my daughter got a high fever... my son with stomach ache. I gave him a bath and send him over. my daughter still out of it and sleeping I try to give her the med and to send her there.. but she wants to sleep with me. In my head I was thinking it might not be a good idea to sleep with her brother on the sofa bed he might get sick from her. I have tried to move her to her sofa bed but she want to stay on my bed. She tell her father to get off the bed. I told him to get off until she is clam and sleeping. and the worst to come for him to sleep on the sofa bed. He got angry start kicking and yelling. He goes to his mother room and she tell him your wife is wrong you should be sleeping with her. Go back there. He come back and he start yelling at me... I told him she is sick and I have to wait until i can move her or you can sleep on the sofa bed. He yell again... then he said you and my mother are the same I hate you both. At the end He went to his mother room and slept with my son on the sofa bed.

The next mooring at breakfast I told the in law that I didn't like how he was yelling at me. She said well he wants to sleep with you. I said to her... would you sleep with someone who is yelling at you and calling you a name? He turn me off. Then she said well you can't let your daughter get what she wants. I told her she was sick with a fever... she was up 4 time at night I have to check her fever and give her the med. I didn't get a good sleep.  Even my daughter when she wake up... she saw an empty open sofa bed...and said I want to sleep here tomorrow. (we were only staying one night) She is only 3 years old. I told my daughter that I have tried to put you in bed but you want to sleep with mommy. she said that because I was sick.  but his mother still think  I was wrong and she was right.

I told her that she seem in my way in the marriage.... he is always checking with her to whatever I said. I told him right in front of her.. that you are disrespecting my opinion and you keep checking with her. You don't have to like what I said but you need to stop asking her of what I said if I am right or wrong.  She seem to be in the way of my marriage.  I told her she needs to back off.  She doesn't comment much when he is rude to her because he talk to him like a child she give him order and tell him what to do like a kid. But to me she tell me that I was  rude for not not allowing him to sleep in room. I didn't tell him he can't sleep in the room... he just wouldn't wait until I can move her to the sofa bed. At the end.... even if he did sleep in my bed... I don't think i am going to sleep with him when he is been rude. he tells her everything. That what bothering me the most. He tells her everything but I am not allow to tell her anything if he did something I didn't like or I think it is not right.  she hate me for not telling her anything. She wants to know everything so she can point and tell me no no... and her way is the best way.  How do I have a nice relationship with them with out getting into his problem with ADD and his mother in the way?