How long do I hang in

I haven't been here in a while.  But it's just getting really bad.  My husband is now starting to deal with his ADHD.  He's doing it w/out drugs because he doesn't want to take anything for the rest of his life.  He is aware that he has been moving slow on getting things done.  He is making efforts.  I'm just spent.  When we get into a tiny arguement, I just shut down.  My back and stomach start to hurt and I feel exhausted.  We have 2 children.  He is a great father.  But I'm so tired of saying that because it's not enough anymore.  We have been in therapy.  It has helped a bit, but we can't afford it anymore because we ran up to high  a bill.  HE is finally working a regular job but it's not enough money.  I've tried to get him to understand that it's great that you have a job, but we need more money, period.  I don't make much, but I'm working 3 part-time jobs now because if I take 1 full-time one I'll probably face a pay cut.  I can't afford it.  I pay all the bills.  For a while, he did it, because I said, you try now.  But now that's over, and though he has a better feel for it, he still really doesn't understand that I need some backup!  Then I get yelled at for not asking the right way, or making him wrong, or whatever.   I'm just tired of being tired.  Financially, we really can't afford the house we live in, but the mortgage is underwater so I can't sell it now.  ANd frankly, if he made just what I made(which ain't much) we'd be fine.

It's not just money it's the executive functions of everything.  I have to think of EVERYTHING.  He's more than happy to give me a break, but it's not a break really, because everything is there for me to do when I get back.  Tonight, I needed to take a minute after running all day.  I went downstairs.  After about 30 minutes I come back upstairs: child has not eaten dinner though it's been made and in the fridge.  It's the normal time we eat.  All he had to do was warm it up.  I didn't know that you needed that done.  I can't think for you man!  A true break for me is YOU DO IT, so when I get back, it's actually done.  I've been married 15 years. I'm tired.  I have anxiety about having too much to do.  I have not done much for the past few weeks just so I don't have back pain from stress.  I am trying to work on me, but I have two small children, one is still at home.

How long can I hold out?  I just don't know....

antifemmebot's picture

i feel the exact same way with my bf

it makes me sad that he can't think about me as much as i think and worry about him. he can't provide for me. he doesn't do anything for me on my birthday, anniversary, etc. but he is a great dad... i want to make it work for my daughter, but im so unhappy. if he showed a little appreciation for EVERYTHING i do, then i'd at least feel special. :( i've been in this relationship for 5 years. i'm not sure how much more i can deal with. the financial mess we're in isn't helping either.

Just unhappy

I am reading the book and  feel there is validity in the description of ADHD I might be under.  My wife is really on me.  She has determined that I have ADHD and is treating me like a 10 years old.  This has been happening for many years, but now has a name.  I am more miserable then ever.  She constantly  correcting EVERYTHING I do.  I am considering options more than in the past.  The stress in our home is like lighting striking all the time.  I am always reminded about the many years she has lost being with me.