Honey, are you listening? by Richard Fowler is a good source of ideas written by a man with ADD and his nonADD wife. they acknowledge many of the obstacles marriages encounter and some ideas about how both partners can approach the issues. One issue it pointed out for me is my tendency to believe that my nonADD ways are the best way and why can't he understand this? but when I look really closely about why I do things the way I do them, they are really just a preference. There wouldn't be any real consequence to do what I do differently on most issues. I wonder why I have such a prideful attitude that my way is best?
There's some really good points made about the stress the ADD person has internally and the stress he experiences because of the actions of others. The point was made that any stress causes overwhelm and increased likelihood of more ADD behavior.