As a pro organizer, I have tried and purchased just about every kind of planner, listmaker, PDA etc. I have learned even for us "normals" it really has to fit your way of doing and thinking and you HAVE to use it consistently. It takes a lot of trial and error to find one that you will use and love.
I use the GTD method, I have modified it a bit for my life, since it really is designed for professionals, not SAHMS. I use it because I have to run my house and life like a business. WE owned a business until a few months ago, so to juggle all that I had to have a system like GTD.
For my ADHD hubby, it is simply too complex, has too many steps, tools ,choices and requires daily implementation and a weekly review, which is impossible for him. It is not easy for even "normals" to use and implement. Just look online and see the huge amount of topics on it.
I bought him a moleskin because he likes cool stuff, and for a while he wrote stuff in it and used it as a planner. Eventually he used it to replace his wallet. He hates wallets, so I was okay with that. I have tried using the whiteboard on the fridge, notes on the front door,bathroom mirror, bought him expensive planners, pda's, 3 x 5 cards, All to no avail.
Then I found IT. A simple system created by an ADHD coach. Here is the link( I have approval from ADMIN) will say, it is simple, costs very little, we had the stuff, so no cost to us. It works with the whole Now/Not now mentality that is mentioned in one of the posts.
I was delirious with joy the first couple of days, when I saw that it worked. HE used it with no problem. Completed his errands, and home tasks without being reminded. JOY JOY JOY!
At our 15 minute meeting at night we discuss what needs doing, he writes them down and voila, he DOES them. He takes each errand task(NEXT ACTION) and places them in his moleskin. AT our end of the day meeting he hands me the completed ones.
All these tasks are noted in our joint journal/planner so if he were to lose one, we still know what it was.
Yes, it requires joint involvement, and consistency. This is where we understand as a couple our strengths and weakness come into play. I am the strong one in regards to consistency and planners, so I have no problem helping him meet this goal. He is the strong one when it comes to planning EVENTs, vacations etc. so it works for us.
It takes very little time and effort compared to everything else we have tried. Ultimately accepting his disability means accepting that some effort will be required on my part to help him maintain any system in the beginning. The easier it is, the sooner he can do it on his own.
I tweaked it a tiny bit from the example on the site because a traditional to do list is hard to complete for most people the way they are often written. I have been training him to think of things as NEXT actions and how to break things down. So his to do's are often very easy and quick to do since he has already thought out the steps and doesn't go into overwhelm or avoidance.
Also on this system are recurring tasks, like take trashbag to bin on porch.
WE discussed habits and how he has been able to maintain good habits, like tossing his stuff and mail into the entry basket. So he can learn good habits and be consistent. I am feeling very hopeful and will post updates on this.