Hoping beyond hope has been fruitless

I just can't live in the same house and watch my spouse spiral into deeper and deeper anger.  His behavior - MY paradigm - has become more egotistical and self-centered. 

I am very frustrated, disappointed and overwhelmed that the work to legally separate falls to me.  However, it is my decision.  Not choice.  I do not want a divorce.   

I spent the past 12 months following the last instruction I had from a marriage counselor.  And, YES, it is true, I thought it would elicit change in my spouse.  And yes, it is true, today, at this minute, I do not like him very much.

 From her book:  "Even after all of the patterns I’ve laid out, some ADHD spouses still won’t believe that ADHD is a factor in their relationship. This can be a real source of friction. I’ve lived this dilemma, for my husband blamed me for years for our issues. When I suggested he get treatment for his ADHD, his angry response was “I don’t need treatment! I like myself FINE just the way I am. YOU’RE the one who doesn’t like me and has issues."

Orlov, Melissa C. (2010-09-01). The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps (p. 73). Independent Publishers Group. Kindle Edition.