This is just a quick post and more of an observation. You can treat the question of what bothers you as a rhetorical one which is mainly why I put that out there but....if you want to say what bothers you....this would be a good place to state it. Into the context that I'm thinking about this....I noticed (now with a new set of eyes ) that my wife and I are different even though ADHD is the common thread. Many things bother her in a general way and when she bothered...she has anxiety. And because she has so many things that bother her...she has a lot more anxiety than I do. And along with that anxiety...she gets depressed. And along with the depression....she gets "disparagingly unhappy".
To say I'm not bothered by things is not accurate. When things bother me....the same thing happens as my wife in the same order. But compared to my wife....I have a fraction of the things that bother me compared to her and this is where I see a huge difference between us. When she gets depressed and disparagingly unhappy....she gets cranky. And when she gets cranky...she becomes reactive. And when she becomes reactive...she lashes out in anger and erupts or can't hold her mud and this is really a problem? Not so much for her...she's got all that other stuff getting in the way and she's focused....all the way back to what bothers her and being reactive and lashing out in anger is the least thing on her mind?
But on top of the list...of things that bother and me and like I said....my list is pretty short and I don't let too many things bother me normally. But #1 on the list of things that bother me? Are people who are bothered by a lot of things but especially....people who react and lash out in anger! LOL That's really the biggest thing that bothers me most of all...which is why my wife and I get to this place so often but I am so aware of this now and have been working on this for so long....that even that....doesn't bother me...nearly as much as if did before. I've had a lot of practice as of late with my wife...and so that "electric shock" thing due to my PTSD from this in the past...is slowly dissipating and I am becoming desensitized to this now. WHEW!!!! What a load off! That was killing me there for a while and as of just last night....I realized that this wasn't happening any more to that level? Now that I know what that is....it doesn't bother me nearly as much anymore in a very healthy and good way. More like an annoying "joy buzzer" party favor that someone has in the palm of their hand as a joke...that's not so funny. lol
Annoying is good.....electrocuted is bad! lol
One more things as far as what I have really observed in the male ...female...shame thing and the differences there? The reason...I believe....that I am not bothered nearly as much about things like a neat and tidy house ( to extreme sometimes with my wife ) is what my ex wife said a long time ago when she was complaining and pleading with me to do something about my messy habits. As she put it....." If someone comes over to the house to visit...and see's the mess that here from you.....they'll think I'm a poor housekeeper and they won't think anything like that of you. That's the first they'll think if someone were to just drop in....that I'm a poor housekeeper...not you."
I guess...this is that female shame thing talking right there. mmmmm?? Shame, low self esteem......"you're a bad housekeeper". That would add up to being bothered a lot? In the same vane...if one of my male friends stopped by.....they'd go "do you have any beer..;I could use a cold one right now?" They've known me all my life and the only comment they might make right now is....."hey, the house is looking neater than usually? Are you having company or is something wrong with you." LOL No shame....they know me too well and have accepted that a long long time ago....like when I was a teenager. Anything different would me....something wrong? lol
Male and female shame is different...and I'm noticing all the ways that's connected directly to what bothers my wife the most and that's a pretty long list...let me tell you?
What I've done subconsciously now that I think about it. Is not worry about things too much and not let what others think of me...worry me?
And if I don't worry. I'm not bothered. And if I'm not bothered....I don't stress. And when I don't stress...I don't have anxiety. And when I don't have anxiety....I don;'t get depressed. And when I'm not depressed.....I'm happy.
If that's the key to happiness....I need to find a way to bottle it. I'd make a million!!! Wait a minute....what was that song? "Don't worry....be happy" Damn....someone beat me too it!! LOL
OMG....I just had a flash back. Remember the commercial ( long ago if you're old enough )....When a woman comes to the door and lets her two "snarky" friends inside and right when the one walks in she goes......"Fried Fish last night?"
No wonder I wanted to smack her! sheese! With friends like those....who needs enemies?