I'm married and have three step children. I basically raised all of them and they do know who their father is but he has never played a role in their life. So here it is; my wife has been diagnosed with ADHD, and her daughter and son.  

Im in a position where I feel like my wife is always protecting her kids all the time! I'm constantly fighting with her son where I feel the need to put my hands on him physically and he's 17. He manipulates his mother and she always defends him when he's wrong. He never does his chores or anything that I ask him to do he does half way. He's lazy, he's never on time , he lies, and he's always twisting my words to his favor in front of his mother. 

My wife takes no initiative to do anything around the house. She's sleeps all the time. She always does things last minute , and according to her everything is my fault. My fault because  I tell them something is wrong with them and they do not operate like normal people. Mind you my wife is taking medication for ADHD but I see no change. She will not let her son be diagnosed with it because she wants him to go to the military. ADHD runs in there family. Her sister has it, brother, niece, father, other brother and other family members. 

I have lived with them for so much time knowing the problem but nothing ever seems to change. I've been to marriage counseling and the only one that attempts to change is me. I'm constantly changing but nobody else wants to change and things remain the same. I'm stressed , aggravated and losing my dam mind in here and I want out. But my wife does not make enough money to support herself so I'd feel bad if I left. I do love her but enough is enough. Her son has pushed me over the limit to the point where I don't even speak to him anymore. 


I guess im looking for anyone who can identify with anything close I might be going through something similar and offer some advice.