How about when you ARE the person w/ ADD & you have managed to run a household & be an effective member of the family?

Hi everyone, i guess i get so frustrated by the description of the ADD person.  They are incapable of finishing anything, they are unreliable and they are a burden on the non ADD spouse. I have ADD and am classic about the highs of life thing. I am however, raising 3 girls, I started a Green Team in our town (including a website), I am on the Board of a local sports organization and have 2 other jobs that needed to be fixed. I am helping to improve some youth issues in towns. When people have issues, they come to me b/c they know I know how to fix it. Yes, I am always on the run and look "excited" all the time, but gosh darnit (for the forum being polite), I am not a burden on anyone. My husband isn't around b/c he is on the BOE and I am on my own alot.

Yet, he thinks that b/c i have this label, he likes to let me know the burden he has. I do more than most non=ADD wives do. where's the love? I am so sick of dealing with it that I am seriuosly contemplating divorse. Because a NON-ADD spouse reads a book on ADD, you aren't an expert and you can't stick labels on people. i am really really frustrated with this label. Some things are true, but there are ADD people out there that take care of everyone else. I don't like being labeled as someone that can't complete things. I do. My house isn't perfect but the changes i am making for the community is really important to me. My kids love me (and my quirks). If I have too much on my hands b/c of my ADD, I don't make anyone else pay for my "issues". I get up in the middle of the night when it is quiet and accomplish what I need to do w/o distraction. I am no dope on this. I try to realize who is in my life and how I don't want to disappoint them either.

I just wish it was covered in a book that there are exceptions to some rules and that you can have ADD people that complete things. My husband wouldn't have any excuses then.

This is my first time so if I am inappropriate in any way, I apologize.

Although ADHD does cause

Although ADHD does cause problems with 'follow through' for many, you seem to be fortunate that you don't have that problem.

One thing I would like to suggest is that you don't completely discount your husband's concerns just because you feel you're doing 'good enough'. No one likes feeling like they aren't heard and their concerns are being invalidated. On the other hand, maybe he is too critical and is using your ADD has an excuse to blame you when he should be more accepting of 'little things' not getting done, who knows? I guess that would be for you to decide.

I know that it was hard for me, as a non-ADHDer, to see my own fault in anything in the marriage...as was it for my ADHD husband. Just something to consider. It is always hard to see what we're doing wrong when we feel we are doing so much 'right'.