You all know the story by now of my H who won't go to his job but doesn't get fired. He has gone in once in 3 weeks. I know he has been lying to me but have yet to confront him about it. Maybe 2 days a week he simply doesn't go in and then the other 3 he will leave the house but I can tell from phone calls to attendance, his bank account and simply looking at his hours online that he hasn't gone in on those days. Instead he leaves and goes and has breakfast somewhere for a few hours until I leaves for work and then comes home, acting like he's been at work all day. He has no idea I snoop to find all this out. I am such a non confrontational person and I have been on the verge of telling him I know everything but can't do it because I don't want to deal with the consequences of him turning it all around on me which he is so VERY VERY good at. I don't know how to approach him about it so he won't either give me a sob story about why he isn't working (his daughter isn't speaking to him and a friend who he hadn't seen in 30 years just died, even though this has been going on far longer than either of those) or he'll make it into a game and say "Oh I'm just going to go up into the mountains and be a monk". I know he hates his job but he simply can't NOT work and expect me to pay everything every month while he sits at home. Sarcasm with him doesn't work. Do I just say 'Sooooo....what are we going to do about you and your job?" I want him to be honest with me so we can get to the root of the issue but he never wants to discuss really important personal matters with me because, as he says, "it upsets me as much as it does you to talk about it."