So I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, I know it's short comparing to some of the other posts I've read... I just need some advice, support or something. We are both young adults, he still a student. I'm a junior accountant, so I cannot be forgetful, de-organized and I cannot afford to loose focus. He on the other hand, is forgetful, inconsiderate and just plain neverminded.
When we started dating, he was everything I wanted, he couldn't stop texting me, flirting...I guess all guys do that in the beginning to win your heart..We always had so much fun and laughing together, talking about anything.. About 7 Months ago, I started to pick things up that really annoyed me or hurt me...for instance, he forgetting to reply to my texts, him not calling me, not planning anything special for us. I started to feel like, if I don't put in the effort to see him, that he's not even going to realize that we don't have plans, and then I feel it wouldn't even bother him if he sees me or not. What makes everything so much harder, we have a long distance relationship... not too much of a distance, we can easily see each other over weekends, and usually we do...but then I have to initiate the plans for us to see each other.
Recently I got so much more frustrated. I talked to him about how he makes me feel, that I don't feel loved, important enough for him, or even worth it for him to show that he cares. I've always believed in "actions speak louder than words" so now I love this guy, that really rarely shows me that he loves me. We had so many fights about this, that he should be more attentive and everything, then it would go great for a week, and then it's back to where we started... this also made me feel unimportant, because if someone loves you, and knows what hurts you, but keep on doing that, it's normal to feel like he doesn't care, right?
I love him with everything, that's why I have not given up on him and our relationship. I fought for it every chance I got, to show him how much I value our love, I did it out of love yes, but also hoping that he would follow my lead and do the same. Needless to say, I was disappointed, hurt and frustrated.
He says he loves me, and I believe him, but it's getting harder for me to believe him, and this frustrates him, because he don't know why I'm doubting him, and I explained why, then he gets angry, and says maybe that's just the way he is.
Two days ago, we almost broke up, because I got angry again, because he always gets busy with something else while we were still chatting or so. It was almost as if he broke down, he told me that he has ADHD, and he can show me the doctor's letter, he had it since his childhood... He needs extra time for exams for example. I was shocked. He told me that he loves me, and only me, it's just so hard for him to show it because he don't know how, he has never been in a serious relationship before. He said he doesn't want anyone but me, and because of me, he is so much better than few years back. He really tries to be more attentive now.
So I know I have to have faith in him, believe that he loves me, because I have to admit, I started to be clingy, and fought so much with him, but he always came back, he never left me. That is a sign for me. When we are together, I cannot be happier, but during the week, when we can't see each other, it kills me.
I decided to not give up on him, this blog gave me hope. I love him too much. And I've come this far. And now I know I can help him and our relationship. It's not going to be easy, but I guess sometimes you love someone so much that you would do anything. I just need him to accept this disorder and to stop being afraid to open up about it.
Any tips from you on here, I will appreciate it so very much!