Once again I've caught my husband lying. His addictive behavior and lies have destroyed our marriage. I'm tired of the same song and dance. He is only remorseful when he is caught. I can't continue to live in fear of what my husband is doing and know I can't trust him. I am seriously considering moving out. My husband works long hours and if I move out, he will see our son even less than he does now. In a way I feel this could be good, because as soon as I leave, he will drown his sorrows in booze and destructive behavior. I am feeling guilty knowing that I will be changing my son's life forever. Once I leave, I am never coming back. Yet, I don't know what more to do. It's been years and years of dealing with his destructive behavior. I've turned into his mother trying to control him and keep him from harming himself, our son and me. I can't do this anymore. Yet, I'm not sure how I'm gonna live with the guilt. I hate this.
How to deal with the guilt of leaving
Submitted by jade21 on 06/26/2017.
My I Ask? ....... Jade21
Submitted by kellyj on
What are you guilty of? I mean, what did you do wrong? I'm just thinking here as you said this, that in order to be guilty of anything ( to feel guilt )....what have you done wrong? As you said that your feeling guilty "knowing that I will be changing my son's life forever" this doesn't make a lot of sense to me? How can you feel guilty, for something that hasn't happened yet? In my way of thinking, you can really only feel guilty, for something you've already done? Which is why I'm asking? What did you ( in the past ) do that would make you feel guilty which is the only place that guilt can come from? Something in the past.....not the future? Doesn't that make sense?
J
I'm ready to move and I don't
Submitted by jade21 on
I'm ready to move and I don't feel there is any turning back. Nothing will change and I can't stay for myself. I feel guilty for leaving, because I can't take this marriage anymore. I can't take the lies. I feel guilty that maybe I should have left my husband long ago and maybe should of never had my son. I feel guilty that my child will be the product of a divorce. I feel guilty for hating my husband. I feel guilty that my son has never seen me happy. I feel guilty that the life I had planned for my son will not be. I feel guilty for it all. When I know that I've spend the last five years of my life trying to make this work. I can't change my husband and never will.