I have been venting on this forum about my unhappy married life to an ADHD husband. I have been talking and talking and talking about how miserable and suffocating my one year of marriage with him has been. Yesterday I read a book "Is it you, me or adult ADD" and found so many lines that were exactly depicting my husband's behaviors, which brought me into tears:
- sudden change of affection/attitude before and after marriage
- very hard to please
- no compromise to his belief or what he wants
- frequent anger outburst and going back to normal as if nothing happened when I am depressed for the remainder of the day
- low tolerance/patience
- easily forgets the favors I do for him and always insist that I need to be more forgiving and understanding
- always whines about his sickness whenever I am sick (he needs more attention to himself than to me)
- he behaves one way in public and completely the other way with me or at home
At first I was stunned to see how precisely the book is describing his behaviors as if it picked on my brain, but now I am thinking more and more about it, I wonder if this is a typical guy behavior toward marriage. How deviated is our ADHD-affected marriage from those couples with no ADHD in their life? It is definitely true that I am miserable and suffering, but I wonder if I am that low tolerant person to marriage itself... Am I going into denial of the ADHD effect finally after all that non-sense brainwashing from my husband?
Anyone can tell me there are distinctive differences between ADHD-affected marriage and Non-ADHD-affected marriage?