How do I avoid feeling hurt after an outburst?

My husband and I started counseling toward the end of 2015 and things were going ok.  We discovered his issues with anger management likely come from ADHD, especially b/c our son was just diagnosed.  I've endured years of his outbursts and walking on eggshells.  My husband does have insight and understands his flare ups hurt my feelings.  But, unfortunately, insight doesn't always prevent it from happening.  The other night, he began yelling at me because I cleaned up his desk and he said I moved some papers around.  I didn't remember doing it, but he insisted it was my fault and now he couldn't find anything.  He just started yelling and it took all my strength, but I did not yell back this time.  I'm trying to learn from these forums how NOT to react as the non-ADHD spouse.  So, I quietly told him I didn't move his papers and walked away.  So, I avoided a big double screaming match.....but it still didn't stop me from feeling hurt and I did what I usually do and gave him the silent treatment for 3 days.  So typical in our marriage.  He yells, I shut down.  And it chips away, little by little by little.....  SO, if I'm trying to be the bigger person and not yell back, all you non-ADHD spouses, how do I stop myself from still feeling hurt after being yelled at??