How do I break the ice to rebuild the emotional connection?

My DH (ADHD) and I (non-ADHD) are at this awkward/delicate place in our relationship. We're not fighting and I'm not angry but we're just going through the motions of our day-to-day lives. We're walking on eggshells around each other. I feel like we both want to connect but are afraid to initiate. Why we are afraid is understandable - years of missteps and being on the roller coaster for a years. But we're still together and there are still feelings there.

It seems like a simple question but do I put it out there and state clearly that I want to work on connecting and discuss how we should do that? Be very direct - Or is that too much pressure? My confidence is not what it used to be and I need some advice how to approach it with DH.

Recent conversations about other things have been tense - if there's any hint of an accusation on my part he gets defensive. So we are in an okay place but I wouldn't describe it as good. However, I think that working on connecting would help me to feel more trusting of him. The lack of connecting is contributing to the walking on eggshells feeling for me. I think he is scared of me because he doesn't understand what sets me off. And I am scared of him for the same reason.