How do I change if he doesn't?

My spouse acknowledges his ADHD (just diagnosed in May). He has tremendous insight into his problem with anger management.  He absolutely gets the impact of that on me and the kids.  But, it happens so fast.  That hair trigger temper.  It's SO fast, I can't see it coming.  Then his words are out.  They are loud and sometimes mean.  They are VERY sarcastic.  And then, for him, it's over.  He feels bad.  And I just fester like a pot of boiling water.  This pattern has gone on for years and I feel broken.  What if he can't fix this?  He wants to.  But it keeps happening.  The Vyvanse he's been taking does NOTHING for this inability to catch himself before he blows.  I want so badly to work on myself.  To let go of all the anger that's built up from this behavior.  But, if he can't change, is it realistic to think I can let it all go???  How does one shift their thinking after being yelled at so many times during a marriage?  How does one break down that HUGE WALL?