How do I deal with the effects of his ADD on MY life?

My husband was diagnosed with ADD about a year after we were married, after he lost 6 jobs in a year. He was 45. ADD is not one of the things treated by our local mental health agency. I had to pay for his treatment out of pocket because we had no isurance. He takes meds and seems to understand what is going on, but they don't really help. He's done a lot of things which have endangered me, which I've posted about before.

Now what I'm writing about is, this is apparently as good as it gets and it's not good enough. I can't deal with the consequences.

1. He can't rememberr my birthday. I really don't care but it meant I didn't come up on his insurance when I went to the doctor, so they wouldn't see me. It cost me a day's pay.

2. Our finances are a total mess. We have no heat, and apparently won't all winter.  We owe too much money to pay to get the heat turned back on. When I suggest he try to solve this he just says "What do you want me to do about it?" and blows up if I suggest either he get a second job or we sell something that's mine. 

 I'm angry all the time. Our insurance doesn't cover marriage counseling and we'd have to pay $55 a visit to our local non-profit. (I'd rather put that money toward the heat!) He thinks I should accept that he has ADD and that means he can't keep a job or do housework, and I should be happy because he does love me and we have fun together. I can't seem to do that.

How do I learn to accept that I have no heat and no insurance because of his ADD and not hate him for it? How do I accept the limits his ADD places on my life?