How do I regain his trust and respect

I am 43 y/o and over the past year have figured out that I have ADHD.  My daughter, who is 8, was recently diagnoised which led me to evalute my past.  I have been married for 15 years and we have always had problems.  I have ruined our credit by not paying bills on time, the house is never organized and everything is always a mess.  The biggest thing is that I have repeated this behavior time and time again over the years.  We took out a mortgage on our home and paid all our bills and for a while I kept up with everything but slowly I slipped back into the same routine.  We struggled but worked through it again, borrowing money to pay for get the picture.  I knew I was messing up each time but telling him meant I was a failure to him and to myself.  I kept telling myself I would catch up on the bills next month and then the next month came and went.  Finally, he has had enough.  All he does is ask "why, why, why" and now I realize that this is due to ADHD.  I have read a lot on the subject and I have created a schedule for getting bills paid and paid early.  Getting and staying organized is a struggle but I have finally figured out something that works for me.  He, of course, has no faith in me.  I still have a lot to work on including the household chores but I am trying.  We basically live separate lives.  He hardly speaks to me unless it is to question me about the bills and the household chores.  He just keeps saying that I have no respect for him and that I don't care (not true at all).  The only thing we talk comfortably about is the children.  We don't have a marriage anymore we are only roommates.  I hate the way things are and want to be able to work things out.  He says he hates the way things are too but feels that if he gives in that things will go back to the old ways.  He is trying I believe...he no longer yells at me about things but tries to speak calmly.  He doesn't understand and nothing I say is good enough.  I don't know what I should do.  I want to get my husband back, I just don't know how.