How do we move on?

My ADD spouse moved out.  I've delayed the dissolution because I've been conflicted about reconciliation, I've been so angry for the past 3 years of bad counseling and getting to the point where we found out (after 23 years of chaos) that he has ADD, I just didn't know what the right thing is.  I wouldn't know what to do if I prioritized myself, I have 5 kids and I've been a caregiver for my grandparents and a special needs uncle my entire adult life.  I'm down to an 11 & 12 year old, a dog, and me.  Do ADHD people ever come back after leaving?  My Husband has convinced himself that our entire marriage was a mistake, he actually tells me that he was lieing when he said he loved me, he seems to have no recollection of any happy times in our marriage.  He's angry that he "lost everything" (meanting our home etc.) but he actually walked away from all the responsibility in my opinion.  I'm losing my mind taking care of everything and the kids and my career.  I know I need to move on, but I can't seem to move on with him telling me that he never really loved me, that it was all a mistake, and that I need to go find a "good man".  I'm 55 years old!  I bought him a house yesterday.  I'm not sure our marriage could work out, but I'm losing my mind trying to wrap my brain around him thinking that the whole marriage was a mistake when I truly believe he is my sould mate.