How do you apologize to the one who loves you the most, yet has suffered the most?

I have had a "lightbulb" week. Now, I have known about the ADHD for 2 years and honestly thought I was handling it. Even with meds, I became complacent, and quite frankly did NOT see the impact my trait was having on those I love the most, especially my husband. I ignorantly thought as long as I apologized for bad days or when I forgot to take my meds then my mouth would get away from me, that I was doing enough, I was owning my mistakes and behavior. What I have realized is that is exactly what I was NOT doing. God bless my husband for still being here, especially while he has been battling his own issue ( PTSD). HOw could I have been so blind to the deep pain I was inflicting on the kindest, most patient man I have ever known? When I would get overwhelmed or upset and couldn't calm down, then run off at the mouth, forgetting most of what I would say, he just took it. When I didn't understand why he was so angry with me or started to withdraw after 10 years, I blamed him. How do you make right what you cannot change? How do you right so many wrongs you have committed against the one person you KNOW God designed for you? If I could go back and do over my mistakes, basically MY MOUTH, I would give anything. Unfortunately, life doesn't allow for do-overs. Any suggestions for how to truly express my remorse, shame and sadness for the hurt I have caused him because of my inabilty to control certain aspects of my disorder and my arogance at not realizing sooner how much I had hurt him?

We are still married and not getting divorced, but I want to show him by my actions, words and deeds just how much he matters to me. He needs me more now than he ever has, the main reason I started really taking this seriously and learning to be better. My husband is the only person who has ever ""gotten me"" and I want to spend my life making up for any and all pain I have ever caused him.

How do I begin? Where do I start? Any real, heart-felt responses would be greatly appreciated...