How do you cope?

I feel as though my life falls apart everytime my partner is home. Is it fair to say that all i wanted was a normal home? One that consisted of not yelling, breaking things and showing your children that you can be a happy family. Everything seems to be my fault and even when he gets agressive he can become very violent. But again if i were to say exactly what happened he denies it even happened that way, just says that it was my fault i slipped and he never done this. How do you cope? Who listens to you when he has said some really hurtful things and you are suppose to just "get over it, it is in the past now" when it only happened 5 minutes ago. Who looks after you when other people think that the ADDer can just get over it, and that im stupid for allowing someone like him to treat me that way. We went together to his phyciatrist appointment and i found the doctor to be very unhelpful i was asking questions while he was playing on his phone. But he is the only doctor we can see as others are fully booked out for ages. How do you make relationships work? Is it worth all the hurt in the world when he constantly goes back on his word over and over again?