How do you deal with the frustrations of living with someone with ADHD?

With apologies to those whose marriages are in real trouble....

My husband is a very sweet man. He takes his meds faithfully, isn't addicted or a wild overspender or anything. But the fact of living with his ADD drives us both nuts. I'm looking for hints on dealing with these things.

One problem is the sheer cost of having ADD. Meds and a psychiatrist are expensive even if you have insurance. We stay broke all the time even though we do not spend frivolously.

Another cost is having to replace things that the ADDer loses or breaks. Let me give you an example. He is supposed to wear glasses to drive. He has bifocals and they don't work well when he's on the computer, so he takes them off and puts them in his pocket, without the case of course. They got broken and he doesn't qualify for a new pair under our insurance until December, so we decided to wait. Last week he got stopped by a cop for "drifting" through a stop sign and  the cop noticed that he didn't have his glasses. His job involves driving clients so he told his boss, so he got suspended for a week until he got a new pair out of pocket.

I don't want to think how much we've spent on screwdrivers and hammers. Basically, he buys them new for each project because he can't remember where he left the old ones.

I am so tired of picking up after him. Wrappers, cans, etc. He promised to pick up a mess the dog made a month ago, and hasn't done it yet.

So how do I deal with all these minor frustrations? Can an ADDer learn to put the hammer away, throw away the wrapper when they eat a piece of cheese, not break their glasses, etc? I brought this up with our marriage counselor and she said he could try coaching, but we can't afford it. I put up some reminders in the kitchen about the trash, but he learned to ignore them. Has anyone found any way to actually live with an ADDer without driving you both nuts?