I’m just dropping in because I’m curious about how everyone handles their ADHD partner’s mood swings / anger / tantrums. I understand each situation is different, but what I’m questioning for myself is when things escalate (and I mean, he starts taking his stress and anger out on me, arguing, snapping at everything), whether leaving the room and waiting for him to just “get over it” is unsupportive and avoiding dealing with things, even if remaining supportive and trying to talk him through and put up with it makes me feel like I’m stringing myself up to be a punching bag.
I can tell through the day when his moods start to drop and he’s sinking into a pit of what I will call depression, which manifests in mood swings and anger. Do I continue interacting with him like I normally would through the day? Do I try to cheer him up? Do I just not respond to his one-word texts, which he does courteously send even though they’re pretty unresponsive? I don't want to ignore him and brush him off until he's in a "more tolerable mood", but his lows are starting to drag me down too, which is a struggle enough as it is. I just can’t figure out the best way to handle these situations.
I feel like I end up walking on eggshells trying not to make things worse, I dread coming home because I don’t know what I’m walking into and if I do give him space, it usually makes him feel abandoned and worse. I feel so helpless about how to work around these moments and not put myself right in the line of fire, but remain supportive and loving.
Any insight you have is greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Submitted by c ur self on
Early on in my marriage I would jump right in verbally thinking I could make it better...The key to what you should do is in your post...(To engage makes me feel like I am a punching bag) (Walking on eggshells)...Any time Dysfunction of mind is causing behaviors that are intrusive and at times abusive two things need to happen....You need to set boundaries and share them with your husband in front of a responsible third party like a good counselor....
Secondly in my opinion and based on the only thing that works for me is to quietly walk away...You and I may wish it was different, but, the living of life tells us engaging them verbally only makes it worse for both parties...Every adult is responsible to manage their own emotions....Never feel guilty about moving along with your day quietly and non-engaging....The alternative only destroys peace.
Sorry, I'm so bad at coming
Submitted by soapathetic on
Sorry, I'm so bad at coming back and responding, but thank you C for taking the time to respond and for a great answer. I appreciate it. Thanks for the advice and the support! :)