As I wrote in another posting, our family physician told me that I need to hold my husband responsible for things. That he is not an in-valid and should take responsiblity for his action or lack of action. Exactly how do you do this? He is an adult not a child. I can't punish him if he doesn't do something that is his responsiblity or that he agreed to do.
I understand that his brain does not function in the same manner as mine and issues such as how I would like to see things done and how they are actually completed is not what I am questioning. I understand he processes things differently. But shouldn't he be held responsible for contributing to the family in some manner. I'm not asking for him to do this the way I want them done I just want him to contribute and follow through.
He doesn't work (on disability). I work FT plus do extra paid assignments at home in the evening on top of typcial house chores. Basically I am working from the time I get up to the time I go to sleep. The problem is that he doesn't contribute to the upkeep of the house or the daily chores. He even waits until I come home from work to ask what we are having for dinner. I've tried to have calm discussions with him regarding what he could do to help me. The wash, clean the dishes, maybe vaccum once a week, take the dog for a walk, etc.. but nothing every comes of it. I've even offered suggestions to him, like make a list of things that you want to accomplish each day and work on the top one until it is complete and then continue to the next one (Something his therapist suggested). I told him it was ok if he didn't finish the entire list but just that he worked on something.
I guess I'm just wondering how many spouses struggle with the problem of the ADHD spouse not contributing or using the ADHD as an excuse to not contribute.