How do you let go

I have posted here several times recently. My wife has told me she wants a divorce for the third and I’m pretty sure the last time. Although I do not want a divorce it’s not my decision to make alone so I don’t see any way of stopping it. It hurts to admit it but what has ruined our marriage has come from me. When I put myself in her position I can understand why she wants out and I can’t blame her. She is fighting for her own life and just wants to save herself. The way she describes it is that she is shell shocked and needs space and time to herself. 

I would love to be able to address all of the issues that I know I have and be the man she needs and wants but I know it’s gone on for far too long and too deep for that now. So as much as I really don’t want to accept this new reality I have to find a way. I know the most loving thing I can do is let her go and rebuild her life without me and the chaos my life brings. The problem is that I just don’t know how to do that. Every time I think about it I literally want to throw up. I can’t imagine a life without her in it. 

So how do you let go of someone you love so much? I know it’s the right thing to do, but the pain is so great, how do you come to terms with it?

If anyone has had to do the same, I would really like to know how you managed to get through it and live without you partner. And how long did it took before you wanted to live again?