How does non adhd Coping with hurt and support my adhd wife

Hello everyone I'm Ron 

             My Wife Danielle and I We have recently come aware of what ADHD in a marriage has effected us... This is our ground zero... for years we have suffered unknowing the real reason... now we both hurt tired and lost... what can anyone recommend to help us start in this journey ... we got the adhd and marriage book and audible and is like our story was being told... scary ... haven't gotten through it all yet... and I'm looking for more and all way we can make this marriage work for us... I love my wife... and want our marriage to have the fighting chance I'm hoping to find in the community that got to manage it .. can someone anyone give us advice how and what steps 

thank you