How does the non ADHD spouse start taking care of themselves?

Since I found this site, I find myself posting a lot. It has been cathartic. Over the years I've had some support from my kids and a best friend who has a now adult child with ADHD.  She left her ADHD husband and is thriving, but I want to try to stay in mine. Most of the time I felt so alone and no-one understood either of us. I can understand why some of the posters sound so negative. I know for me I've held it all in for so long, it just pours out in this arena. A refuge. I wonder if once the pain and hurt and "bashing' gets out the tone becomes more positive?

I know I've tried to keep things more on the positive side.  I hope. With all that said, after I found this site, I took a small step towards self care. Wearing makeup, nice clothes, jewelry. It was only one day but it helped a lot. I'm usually so anxious, tired and trying to juggle so many things, that I don't have the energy for myself.

We are slooowly getting back on our feet but It isn't over yet. We still have legal and financial issues hanging over us. He has a job, but it doesn't pay well and has been called back for a second interview for a better job. In the meantime I'm trying hard to keep us from becoming homeless again.

I don't work except as a volunteer from home. I have severe dental problems and have been trying to save to fix those so I can work also. I can barely speak, and my face is slightly disfigured.

My self esteem is at an all time low. So my question is, where do I start to recharge, work on my appearance, my hobbies when I can barely raise the energy to get dressed? I'm still recovering from spinal surgery.

How do I start to let go of some of the responsibilities without everything falling apart again?

Keep in mind I TEACH organizing, uncluttering. I use the GTD method and notebook. Yet in this area I find it hard to get going.