How to get out of a financial mess? Anyone have any specific tips or resources please?

Hi everyone...

I am new to this site and have tried to search a bit before posting. A lot of couples with the impact of ADHD suffer from a horrible financial mess. We are definitely in that boat. Due, in part, to my husband's untreated ADHD, we are close to $65-$80,000 in debt. Like credit card debt and regular monthly expenses bills. It's so late right now and I'm exhausted, so my apologies for not introducing myself more fully. But I just couldn't go another day without reaching out in hopes that someone on this site has been through the financial doldrums and somehow came out of it. 

My husband cannot and will not focus on addressing his ADHD because he is obsessed with our financial situation. I am numb, bitter, overwhelmed, and not even sure what to do.

I work 36 hours/week. We have two-year-old twins. My husband has been unemployed just over 2 years, but has a small business which he is not very good at running and makes very inconsistent money usually costing us more than he makes. 

What can we do about the debt? Resources? Tips? Please.

Thank you!