How Love found me.with my ADHD

Dealing with ADHD is no picnic, from the perspective of the one without ADHD. I have ADHD but I know what I am great at and what I am not.  i apply Just-World Hypothesis to my proclivity at any given time and determine whether the outcome is satisfactory. As I type this entry, I want to be with my girlfriend who is peacefully sleeping in our room. I could sit here and interact with the computer all night long, but I know it's counterproductive. She wants me by her each night but I have insomnia. I use this to my advantage,  I  lay awake and think up new and creative ways to acknowledge her. I cook dinner most nights because I like to cook. After dinner She helps her children and mine with their Homework while I clean up the dining room and kitchen, while I listen to music, but not too loud as to disturb them. The only subject I am not great at is math. I am glad that the tree oldest can do most of their homework on their own, I think I get off too easy doing household chores. She makes sure they all get bathed and I get her bath ready about that time. A great time to use my creativity and surprise her. As someone with ADHD, my mind never stops working. I use this energy for their benefit, not mine. It is never easy on them and me as well. My home life  is structured to suite my ADHD and with a routine we all can live with. It is far from utopia, but at least we know how to overcome conflict, and that is what open and honest communication does. There are a few phrases I hate saying to my partner. Any statement starting with 'you", such as "You are and You know I..", I find very disrespectful to her and her feelings. The other one I detest is, "I know how you feel"  i have no clue how she feels or what she may know, emotionally speaking. If I use any of these statements when we are expressing how we feel, I must do something nice for her in return but there is no deadline put on me either. Knowing all of this now, came at a great cost. My first marriage ended with my wife saying "All I wanted was a husband, not a doctor" I treated her as if she were one of my patients. If you have ever seen the TV. series Doc Martin, it is easy to see his disorder  to those with ADHD. Off to make my rounds and make sure my six angels are sleeping soundly before i am asleep myself.

     I would love to know if anyone else has found how to use ADHD to an advantage.

Good to hear

I'm very happy for you and your family.  It is great to hear how people have worked with the condition rather than trying to obliterate it. Sleep is important though. 

QD-PRN's picture

Thanks ShellyNW

Hearing kind words is what keeps me going. You are correct, sleep is very important, especially when it comes to children. I tell my girlfriend that the strength of a good house rests upon its foundation, but a great home rests upon the love of a great woman.