How to Move Forward?

Husband refuses to even consider that ADD is a problem in our marriage.  It has come to the point that if he texts he will be home in 10 minutes that may mean 10 minutes or an hour so I no longer trust what he tells me. It came to a head yesterday and rather than take ownership, he asked why I did not contact him to confirm his arrival time.  No more!  I am done covering and making HIS life easier due to his choices.

I truly love him and after over 40 years of marriage do not wish to divorce, but neither do I wish to retire from my job not even having an idea of our financial future since he is unable/unwilling to even have that discussion.  How does one move forward with future planning if partner is NOT part of it? I feel as if I have to do all of the planning, bill paying, and anything else that takes adult thought. He is actually brilliant so I struggle with the fact that he is unable to see the destruction he leaves in his wake.

I am so tired of him saying "I understand" or "I apologize" when that means nothing changes in future but more understanding and more apologies. He insists each time that he will improve the situation but that rarely occurs.

I fully realize my patience is at an end.  Is best option to set boundaries to the point that I feel as if I am not even in a loving relationship? Guess I will go back to therapist to try and determine how to move forward since I am on my last nerve at this point.