I said to my wife (ADD) the other day, after a particularly horrific fight (at least it was horrific from my perspective) - "I just can't take it anymore. We can't keep fighting like this." She replied that all couples fight, that fighting is normal. I said disagreements are certainly normal, and maybe fighting sometimes is normal, but I didn't think that fights like we have been having, where one or both partners are yelling, cursing, slamming doors, etc. was normal. And I also don't think fighting so often is normal. (I consider "often" to be one or more fights in a week.) It seems like we have these fights at least once a week, and lately even two or three times a week. And they are having a real toll on me. I can't stand it when my wife yells and bangs around like that. And when I get so frustrated that I yell and curse and bang things I am feeling REALLY frustrated (which in itself feels terrible), PLUS I feel bad at the time that I am behaving like that - yelling, cursing and banging things.
The fact that we fight so often, and the fact that I become so enraged that I yell and bang things, is starting make me wonder if maybe I made a mistake. That maybe I shouldn't have married my wife. Because I just can NOT go on living like this. It is just way too stressful for me. I am not happy being in a relationship where we fight so often. I definitely understand that disagreements will occur, and perhaps even frequently. But do they have to trun into fights? I do NOT want to be in a marriage where fighting like this is considered "normal." My wife, however, seems to think that my expectations for marriage are "too high." I'm not sure what to think.