Hurting please help I don't know how to cope

So glad to have found this site. I'm reaching out to anyone who is willing to answer because I feel so desperate and alone. There's a whole mountain more to talk about, but I'll sum up what's been going on.....

My soon-to-be-ex husband was diagnosed with ADHD as a child. I know that he was not given medication (which frankly, I'm not opposed to) but I am not sure if he ever went to therapy. He never addressed it at all during our marriage, only told me the symptoms he experienced. He always says that he is a conflict avoider and so rarely ever discussed anything that required our joint serious attention. Don't you know I begged him to get a diagnosis so I could better understand what he was going through and so we could work together as a loving, successful partnership. 

The description of what it's like to live with an ADHD spouse fits my dying marriage 100%. From the courtship days, in which I couldn't peel him off of me with a stick even while we were long-distance, to being ignored like an old toy for the hours-long video game play on a daily basis while I struggled to keep our household together on a shoestring, to my husband's decision to divorce me after I took him at his word--he yelled at me to get out of the house (after a huge fight), I stayed in a hotel for a few nights, now he accuses me of leaving him, therefore he claims that he is no longer bound to me. Oh, except he offered to move out and into his brother's home and then stayed there for two whole months before coming back last October. He told me he thought it was best that we permanently separate after Thanksgiving. He hasn't moved out or filed yet, but he expresses a happy-go-lucky attitude and I'm privately flip-flopping between mourning, rage, bitterness, resentment, loneliness, hope, and acceptance. He's used his religion (he magically became interested in going to his church again after our physical separation, even though I had been trying to encourage him to come with me to my church or his own for years) and my actions and words from the past that I apologized for and promised to work harder on to not repeat, as justifiable reasons to leave me. A lot of that stuff, I believe, was a result of the stress, anxiety, and depression that I developed while dealing with his ADHD symptoms. He even blames me for being frigid for 8 months straight, which happened four or five years ago. I grew a lot intimately and learned to initiate more, but even then it wasn't enough. Never mind all the times I asked for his affection last year, only to fall sleep sad and lonely while he stayed up all night playing video games! It's a slap in the face to be mad at your spouse for ignorantly not initiating sex in the past but now abstaining from it by choice for months!!!

I believe that I may have ADD or ADHD as well, simply because I am aware of my horrible procrastination and struggle to stay focused on tasks (I've struggled with those since I was a child). It got much, much worse while trying to deal his indifference in our partnership. Right now I'm horribly addicted to Facebook. I don't really know until I go through the tests myself to find out if I have ADD or ADHD. and we're too broke to do anything right now.

We have three children together. I have very few close friends, most of them live out of state. We have a mortgage on a 750 sqare foot 2 bed/1bath house and he earns $1200 a month at a work at home job. He applies for financial aid through his church to help pay our bills. The longest he's ever stayed employed with a single job is two years. He quit half of them. I withdrew from college twice to raise our kids and supported him to finish his degree so we could afford a better lifestyle. Now that he's accomplished the means to get a better job (which was a joint goal of ours when we both started school together) he's planning to use his earnings from his new career to divorce me. I'm 27 with no college degree, three children ages 9 months, 3 years, and 6 years. I do a little freelance artwork but even that is limited because I have no where to set up a studio and work.

I feel so used and cheated and trapped. I thought we were friends. He's acting like we still are. Verbally and intimately, he's made it very clear that he has no interest in continuing or working on our marriage. Once the divorce is final, aside from custodial arrangements, I never want him in my life again. It's the only way I think I can let him go and maintain peace of mind.