Husband with add wants to split

weve been together for 16 years and we've had the rollercoaster ride many have. He's been diagnosed and medicated but little else has changed. We have 2 lovely children . Over the years I've been back and forth with understanding, tolerance, fear, anger, frustration. I've been supportive and understanding and have read as much as I can about ADHD and tried my utmost to be the best I can for us all. 

Hes been unfaithful, has got into debt, is short tempered with the kids and has all the usual difficult add behaviours. He's currently addicted to Pokemon go and has got the kids into it so they all go out at all hours for hours chasing imaginary characters. The kids are over it but he's still trying to persuade them to go with him.  He's also a kind, sweet man who loves his kids and can be ( or used to be) charming, talented and charismatic.

over the past 2 years things have got pretty bad- life has caught up with us and we have struggled. Finances, business, kids, have all suffered and we've become less and less affectionate and have been pretty horrible to each other. I've planned to leave many times as well as trying to resolve our issues and talk things through. He's had his head in the sand and refused to engage with me.  I've read the books, we've been to specialist relatiO ship therapists and yet we somehow never get back in track but never separate either. I paid for Melissa's online relationship course but he showed no interest in doing it. We've been limping along pretending hi ha are ok.

so tonight he finally says he thinks we're over and I'm suddenly faced with him making the decision instead of me and I don't know how I feel. I still love him but agree we can't go in like this. I don't know if I'm just afraid, sad, worried for the kids, or do I really still want to be with him. Is it a case of not accepting him making the decision? Wounded pride? I'm so confused and uncertain. I k ow no one else can know my situation or make a decision for me but I feel so alone and just don't know what to do. Any support or thoughts ? 


Thank you