We are going through a very difficult time in our marriage.
My husband is constantly angry and it feels like I can never do anything right
He is constantly on edge and ready to lose his temper at the drop of a hat. He is snappy, rude, irritable, and sometimes mean. It's rare for Him to cook a meal calmly without snapping. He says he enjoys cooking, but he is so wound up when he is cooking and snaps at anyone who happens to say something or cross his path.
He also doesn't take care of our 16 month old daughter as much as I would like and leaves me to do %95 of the childcare. Even if I'm working and he is home looking after her, I get her up, feed her, dress her, come home at lunch and feed her and then get her ready for bed in the evening. One day he didn't change her diaper the whole day and another he didn't give her any food (only what j had given her at lunch). If I bring up any concerns, he gets angry and nasty with me. I recently put her in daycare so I know she is well cared for while I am at work. That is expensive with only one income coming in. We moved to a new town three months ago for my job. He wanted us to take the opportunity and promised he would get a job. It's been three months and he has only applied to two jobs. He constantly tells me he is so busy with this or that, and doesn't have time for job applications. He also can't find time to tidy the house after himself either as it is always a mess, unless I clean it.
I'm the sole income earner, I do 80% of household chores and about 90% of childcare while I work a full time job.
That said, he applied for a government job which goes through an intensive screening process. He flew away this weekend to complete a psychological evaluation that involves a 6 hour day of testing. He stayed up Friday night drinking alone, flew out on Saturday and got really drunk again and again got drunk last night. The assessment was this morning. He went into a psych assessment hung over after three days of drinking. And I learn that he was also late for that appointment.
He is so unreliable.
How could someone with any sense of responsibility get drunk the night before a psych evaluation???
I feel I can not rely on him for anything. I feel he lets me down when it matters most. Now with this job, after he birth of our baby when I needed him to step up and be strong for me when I was weak. He disappeared. I know he has mental health concerns and I've been there for him. When I need him to be there for me, he is no where to be found. He disappears inside his own head. His issues are always bigger than mine, even when I just had a baby and likely went through post partum depression. That was our worst time as a couple and It should have been our happiest.
He isn't reliable. I can't trust that when he says he will do something that it will get done. Whether it's bringing boxes out to the trash, helping to care for our newborn baby when I had a lot to recover from, or staying sober the night before a psych evaluation that will determine if he moves on in the selection process for this job.
I feel completely trapped and lonely. I tell him how I feel and he says he'll do better and the next week, we have the same conversation.