Husband seeking advice from ADD Spouses

Hello, this is my first post, and I am new to the concept of ADD and its impact on our family. My wife (of 14 years) has very recently been diagnosed with ADD Inattentive type - though she does not accept it openly (I believe in her heart she knows it to be true). For me this was a revelation. I asked the ADD specialist who diagnosed my wife, to recommend books to help me understand the condition. My goal, to be better able to deal with the impact ADD has on me, my two young boys, and to be able to support my wife and be the best husband I can possibly be. Needless to say, having this illness in our lives for 16 or so years, undiagnosed, unrecognized, has been a huge challenge. We just never understood our relationship issues and the ADD roller coaster had its way. Working with psychodynamic marriage counselors ..... well, I am sure many of you know just how problematic that can be when un-recognized ADD is present (inattentive type). Needless to say, today, after a few months of veracious reading, at least now I understand the impact of ADD, my role, my wife's role, and I have the tools to start to heal. A lot of pain, but ready to forgive and fully prepared to take on the long road to healing ahead...... definitely starting with taking care of me so I can be the best for my family. All this said, the purpose of this posting is to ask female ADD spouses for you advice, if you are willing to share with me and others in this forum, as to what was it that your husbands did (or did not do) that helped you address your ADD and ultimately helped pave the way to a more loving and intimate relationship with him. I do appreciate every relationship is different and each carries its unique dynamics, however, I am interested in what worked for you. Melissa's book was wonderful, however, I figure getting your all input as well can only help me (us) obtain more love and intimacy in our marriage. Thank you all in advance for any feedback. Best wishes, CG.