Husband who can't open up

Both my wife and I have adhd and have been struggling in our marriage with the difficulties that we each create for years. These problems keep escalating each time we have had a new child, especially when she got post partum depression with our last one. We have been going to counseling but we won't be able to go back for 3 weeks due to scheduling conflicts. Found the book that lead me to this forum a few days ago and figured I would seek some help here too.

For the past 2 to 3 weeks I have been finding it harder and harder to talk to my wife about the things that really matter. Like the type of things that really open myself up and are important to me. I have tried to pull apart the emotions on my side and there is a weird new fear and anxiety that stops me from opening up emotionally. I can't locate an event that caused it in my recent memory. But I also don't seem to be able to force out the words to start conversations I want to have.

Has anyone else encountered anything like this? If so what did you do?