Husband Won't Get Help!

My household is an ADHD nightmare.  I recognize I've had it all my life, but with the help of a cup of coffee manage to keep it together plus homeschool our 5 kids and everything else - and I do mean EVERYTHING.  It's like I'm the only adult in our house.  He does work 12 hours a day, but when he comes home he STARES at his phone and can't seem to stop.  He watches video after video on youtube about stupid stuff like elderly people falling down escalators.  He can be so irritable and hateful to me and the kids.  Then he tells our olest boy, who is 7, "You need to set the example for your little brothers!  They look up to you!"  I want to choke him when he says this, HE'S THE EXAMPLE NOT A 7 YEAR OLD!  He comes home shaking and almost in tears sometimes b/c he hates his dead end job of 10 years and is so stressed and frustrated by it.  He says he wants to look for another job, but WON'T PUT HIS PHONE DOWN.  He refuses to go see a doctor about a for sure diagnosis and some counseling or meds.  When I suggest in the nicest way possible anything that will be helpful to him I get cussed out.  What am I supposed to do with him?  Being a married single mother is getting old fast.