Hygiene,smell, hoarding

Does anyone else have trouble with an adhd spouse and their hygiene? I have trouble with finding creative ways to say please wash etc and its killing me especially since they smoke. How do I work on asking them to clean themselves?their space?and work on their hoarding? The forgetfulness makes the personal hygiene very bad and it makes messes so much worse.I have trouble being together with them when they haven't showered or shaved etc. Messes can be picked up but when its filled with clutter and hoarding and you know their must be food or unwashed items in their you know mold, smell etc are dangerous and scary how do I tackle this? . I have the whole house organized and their stuff contained to bins, but in the bins I know their are unwashed clothing items and outdoor gear developing mold and smell. The office desk"reclaimed"from an alley smells like cat pee pee. I hate bad smells, I hate mold and I hate hoarding help! absentmindedness aside its gross but I dont want to be tackless but it seems I never get through gently. Also are all adhd people messy I mean food in corner of mouth,stain and spots on pants from food ink, or cuts on hands and hands not washed etc or is this just my adhd spouse?