I've been dating my boyfriend for around three and a half months now. Things got pretty serious pretty quick, as I've come to understand ADHD relationships do (what with the hyperfocus and such). We're long distance, he lives in IL and I live all the way in Ontario, so sometimes we miss each other lots.
My problem isn't so much hyper-focus, which I can deal with just fine, it's this new thing he does, where for two or three days, he LOVES talking to me, acts like I'm the most important person in his life, and then switches to where he acts like we're not dating, and I'm just a random girl he knows. Sometimes he'll call me 'babe' and act like I'm actually his girlfriend, but for the most part, it's one word answers and insensitive comments.
I don't know if I'm being over-sensitive or not, but I mean...when he's on Skype and I'm trying to talk to him, he'll go an hour without saying anything, and then respond with a link to something completely irrelevant to the conversation. Occasionally it seems like he wants to talk, he'll initiate the conversation, but then it drains away quick and I'm left with stuff to say, and an unresponsive boy to say it to. The same goes for texting, he just...doesn't answer. And he could just be busy with the texting stuff, but the online communication is lacking, and I'm afraid to bring it up because whenever I bring things like that up, he gets irritated, or acts like I 'need' him and he hates when people 'need' him.
I'm supposed to be visiting him in like 20 days, staying at his pseudo-parents place for around a week and a half, and he doesn't seem to miss me, isn't acting excited to see me again (this is my second trip there), and whenever I talk about it, I get no response, just like anything else I say.
What'd going on with him? I don't think he's lost interest, I did ask if he'd tell me if I upset him or anything was wrong, he said he would tell me, and nothing was wrong. He's not really the type to stay quiet about this stuff.
I need to know that I'm not alone in feeling like he could care less if I cut communication for a few days. I mean, I love him, and he loves me (even though he doesn't like saying it to each other, we're supposed to 'be able to feel it'. Yeah, I would, if he acted like he did), but when it gets like this, I feel like he wouldn't even notice if I dropped off the earth. His responses (or lack of responses) indicate that I wouldn't really be missed.
Anyone know what this feels like?
How do I make myself feel like it'll be okay?
Is this common with ADHD relationships?