I am new to this so please be patient as I bungle my way through this question...... my husband and I have struggled for years. Two months ago, he began using porn, registered for an extra marital affairs website and began taking a female co-worker out for a number of dinners. He says there was never a physical affair and that he stopped just short of that. We separated two months ago and he was recently diagnosed with ADHD (after 50+ years).
We have been talking a great deal and both of us are seeing our own therapists.
He wants to work things out and is actively 'courting' me. He sent flowers four times in 6 weeks, sent cookies to my son while we were on a mother/son trip. He hired someone to take care of the yard and spent a weekend at the house fixing things while I was out of town (he has not been a partner in the house maintenance chores for years).
I want to try and recommit, but I am concerned all of this showering of attention is hyperfocus courting like when we first met. I read that this form of courting with ADHD partners is due to a rush of adrenaline and endorphins. My question is......can someone experience hyperfocus courting even after they are married? Is he experiencing a chemical rush right now....or is he sincerely trying to show his affection with gifts, acts of service and attend time? Will the proverbial pendulum swing back the other way just as it did shortly after we were married?