I am convinced... my husband is really a Child trapped in a Man's body


1. He throws a temper tantrum if I do not sleep in the same bed as him.  (He spends half the night up-and-down, tossing and turning trying to go to sleep.  I go to bed around 11 pm, but he normally stays up until around 3 am.  When he finally gets ready to come to bed, he creates such noise in the bedroom and our adjoining bathroom that he wakes me up.  I have explained to him on hundreds of occasions that I have a hard time getting back to sleep once he has awaken me from a deep sleep.  I have tried sleeping in the spare bedroom so that I can get a complete nights sleep, but he throws such a temper tantrum because I am not in the bed with him.  If I can't get back to sleep and do end up in the other bedroom, when he wakes he comes looking for me and gets angry again because I am not in the bed with him.  For a couple of years now, I have thought that this was a control issue with him, but now I have come to realize that he is more like a child who doesn't want to sleep alone). 

2.  He thinks everything is fine if only he apologizes for his actions.  (He is extremely disrespectful of me by calling me horrible names and degrading me, but thinks that the minute he apologizes it all goes away.  He then gets angry again and accuses me of not being forgiving.  After one of our heated shouting matches, it takes me several hours to calm down.  Some of the things he says is truly hurtful and he doesn't understand why I just can't seem to get over it immediately.  He is constantly telling me what a cold, hard b***h I am.)

3. He is oblivious to household chores, cooking, cleaning, yard work, bills, etc.  (The entire house is run by ME....  Once in awhile, he will do a load of his own laundry if he runs out of socks or underwear.  Of course, he doesn't think of ever doing anything else like towels and sheets.   Regarding cooking, one time when I was out of town visiting relatives, he tried to boil a pan of water on the range to sterilize his contact lens case.  He ruined the pan and almost caught fire to the kitchen in the process.  He took a phone call and went upstairs, totally forgetting about the pan of boiling water.)

4.  .... (to be continued)  I am hoping that I can go back to sleep now since I have got some of my frustrations down on "cyber paper."  


Too funny

Ahh, makes me remember the "good" old days. My DexH would insist that we always be touching. At first, it was full body contact. I finally got it down to just touching feet, but boy did he throw some tantrums! It was true -- he couldn't sleep without touching me. Would he agree to a particular night each week to sleep separately? That would give you some extra rest that you could count on, and maybe desensitize him a little?

Mine was very much a child in a man's body. Three different counselors made reference to his temper tantrums and "toddler" behavior.

Maddening how they do some horrible things and then turn around and accuse YOU of having done it.

Good luck.

child vs man.  I hear you on

child vs man.  I hear you on all 3 counts..except on number 2, mine RARELY apologizes for his horrible behavior, I am supposed to just get over it, and if i am still upset/angry the next day then he gets pissed at me because I am still upset, so round and round we go...I told him at least 1000 times that if he were apologize i would be ablt to get over it faster, but NOOOO makes me feel like he isn't sorry for what he said or did,  he may very well be but doesn't say it.

It is so ridiculous that they

It is so ridiculous that they can't take any responsibility and we are always to blame for everything.  Even when my manchild apologizes, he normally ends his apology with some sort of comment how it was my fault anyway.  I try to explain that when he adds his little jabs and insults after his apology, it is like adding insult to injury.  But... I don't know why I keep try to explain anything to a man-child.  Sometimes I want to throw my hands up and run away as fast as I can.  Ugh!!! 



Hi marbuch

Haven't been on in quite awhile.  So much going on here.  I have 18 y/o twins.  First prom then graduation, and ever since, getting ready for college.  Had seriously thought in the beginning of the year, that the Adderall my husband takes was the answer.  Things went RIGHT BACK to the mess we have had for years though.  I read your comment here and it just made me see that they are all the same.  It's never his fault.  Always mine and always has been.  I have been saying that to him for a month or so now and it just pisses him off more and more.  I guess they enjoy finding the reason why it is our fault, as much as telling us it is.   If I cut him off at the chase he just gets more aggitated.  I agree, it's a very sad existence when you know that they need help, they have this "condition", and you do everything and more, within your power to help them and they just blame you for everything and think you are the "bad guy"/enemy.

If you run, I will too.  I have been putting up with it for far too long. I have lost my self confidence and am nowhere near the person I once was.


I can relate! My boyfriend is oblivious to household chores as well.  The only chores I've asked to commit to are: taking out the trash (and putting a new bag in the can), taking care of the outside of the house--mowing the lawn and keeping the yard neat, picking up his dirty sox and clothes from the living room and putting them in the dirty clothes basket. He also does the laundry, at a laundry mat no less.  He does this resentfully (for some reason). I certainly have my share of chores!  So when he decides he's going to do laundry he does it spur of the moment and just goes in the bedroom and gathers up HIS laundry.  Practically on his way out the door he will say, "oh,did you have any laundry you want me to do?"  LOL.

My husband spends more time

My husband spends more time and is much more serious about playing board games with our children (both adults, by the way) than he does and is about applying for jobs.  Has not applied for a job since getting fired three years ago.

My Decision - To start responding to him as if he were a CHILD

After pondering my own question, I decided to start responding to my man-child as if he were a CHILD.  Wow!  It actually seems to work some.  If I talk to him in my "poor sweet little baby" voice, he actually responds better.  Go figure...  To me, I sound sarcastic as hell, but if it works????? ;D




sad....and glad it works.....don't know if I could carry on like that for long.  I have to figure something out that works though.