I am new here

I have questions about ADHD and need some help reconciling my thoughts and feelings after a 30 year relationship ended 2 months ago.

1) What happens when an ADHD spouse- female, aged 50, doesnt seek therapy/treatment strategies for the ADHD?

2) What happens when said ADHD spouse does not take medication properly, lays off of it on weekends, or misses it?

3) What happens when said ADHD spouse also is a closet drinker and self medicates with alcohol because it 'helps them deal with issues'?

4) What happens when said ADHD spouse and myself also have a 17 year old son that also has ADHD and the ADHD spouse will not help get son proffessional help?

I have a whole lot more to the story, but I am currently trying to reconcile the fallout after the end.