I am new here and my partner Archie has only just being diagnosed with ADHD [he is 45] even though we have been together for ten years and I have suspected for a long time that this was one of his traits.
I have got a lot of different questions and information I would like to gather!.....but my first question is a bit random, I am hoping someone might help:
The thing is that partly due to Archie's ADHD he is very fidgety, easily dstracted and socially awkward and he often sweats and blushes when he meets new people. He is a professional musician and has mentioned that in social/professional situations people often tend to avoid talking to him due to his awkward demeanour and some have even mistaken his behaviour for being on [illegal] drugs.
I feel this is a particularly unfortunate phenomenon for him, because he is actually quite strongly opposed to drugs [even though in the music business they are often present and colleauges of his have been known to take them, he does not]. One manager of a band he is currently touring with even said to a colleague: "I bet that Archie takes a lot of drugs" just based on his observations of Archie's [possibly erratic, though innocent] behaviour.
This is beginning to really get him down, as he feels he is often mis-perceived and misunderstood and, at worst, could be detrimetal to his career opportunities.
It is sad and frustrating for me to hear him struggling in these ways with people, when he is actually a very sensitve, kind and likeable person.
I suppose my question is how could he best address this so people do not perceive him in this way and that he is given a fair chance to speak to/work with new people?
Thank you in advance for any thoughts,
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on
There are some psychiatrists offices, such as the Hallowell Centers, that offer group sessions to help people learn how to present themselves better - socialization, if you will. There are Hallowell Centers in New York and Boston, if that helps. Else talk with his doctor or with a career counselling service about how he can learn to present himself in a way that won't raise peoples suspiscions. Another option would be a coach. They can teach him strategies to control fidgeting, learn to take a breath before responding to questions, etc. (probably can't help that blush, though!)
meds and social effects
Submitted by lupin (not verified) on
Submitted by milagro5 on
Rebecca, Michelle Novotni (former ADDA president) has a good book on social skills called What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?
I found this book very helpful
My first thought is that he
Submitted by Devoted on
My first thought is that he might have been misdiagnosed and actually have Asperger's. Asperger's can often contain all of the same symptoms as ADD but also include others such as more social awkwardness, sometimes traits of anxiety or OCD-like behaviors-- I'm probably not describing it very well, lol, you should look it up. But anyway, if he does have Asperger's there are support resources (many online) for adults with Asperger's. Asperger's is often misdiagnosed or missed in adults because they have learned to cope better than when they were kids, obviously. It is also very often missed in people with high IQs. Just knowing that I have Asperger's makes a huge difference-- and I still identify myself as ADD to people, sometimes, too, because if I didn't have the extra Asperger's symptoms I would qualify as ADD and people usually understand that better than Asperger's. HTH!
Submitted by kjh (not verified) on
Submitted by Devoted on
KJH, if it's okay, I'm going to reply to your response on my other thread, since it seems more fitting there. :)