Hi everyone. My name is Amanda, I'm 30 and I am having a really hard time with my ADHD husband. We've been together for 7 years and things have been pretty bad off and on. He was originally diagnosed Bi-Polar a few years ago and it wasn't until recent that his new doctor told him the she believes he had been misdiagnosed and that he actually has ADHD. He's in the beginning stages of talking to her and getting his medication, but I need help in the mean time.
I have no idea what I'm doing. I feel as if im walking on eggshells. His anger is triggered constantly and over little things that shouldn't warrant that much anger. I understand that he is ADHD and he's going through a rough time trying to control his emotions and what not, but its really starting to take a toll on me. I wake up feeling both depressed and scared for what the day has in store for me. Its kind of driving me crazy...I feel like I'm losing my mind. I love him to death and I want to be with him, but I have no idea how to handle whats happening.
He doesn't physically abuse me but he def mentally abuses me and I really don't know how much longer I can take it. I don't want to give up on him and us...I honestly have no idea what to do. I try to tiptoe around him when I sense he's not feeling good mentally, but no matter how invisible i try to make myself, he always finds something to fight with me about. I learned along time ago to just ignore him when he's having somewhat of a tantrum and it used to be easy to do, but now I'm starting to realize that i'm over it and start fighting back. I know it only makes things worse but everyone has a breaking point...and I think i'm finally reaching mine.
For example. Yesterday he woke up around 11 am. I had breakfast made, we ate everything was fine. He said he was still tired so he went back to bed. He woke up like 3 hours later and I could tell he was in a horrible mood. The first thing he tells me is that its my fault he slept so long because I fed him breakfast to early...I mean REALLY?!? He gets really mad at that point grabs his headphones and goes upstairs listening to music for a few hours. (I know he needs his space to calm down so I let him). After a few hours he comes down and makes himself a drink. He takes a swig and spits it in the sink accusing me of washing the dishes with hand soap...He swears it tastes like hand soap and is now arguing with me about it. I know for a fact that I didn't wash the dang dishes with hand soap and I defend myself. He's always has to be right no matter what! At this point he's really ticked off. He throws the drink in the sink and stomps his way upstairs yelling and screaming how he's done with everything...and everyone....It really scares me when he says things like that because im not sure what hes going to do..I don't want him to harm his self of me for that matter. He goes into the room, he's throwing stuff everywhere, punching everything in site, yelling at the top of his lungs...Its driving me crazy...He always says sorry after, but his sorry''s are really starting to mean nothing to me...I just don't know what to do. I don't want to leave him because he is a great guy when he's happy and I really don't want to abandon him when he is at his lowest...I just just need tips on how to diffuse the situation before it starts...Please help!