Hi, I am wrecked, exhausted, overworked and beyond coping with organising my husband's life, picking up the unfinished pieces and dealing with debts, bills, children's needs and running my own business and the house. I think my husband may be ADHD.. just from reading about the symptoms and the effect on our marriage and my own life. I am a fixer, a strong and very capable organiser,.. so I've managed well to deal with 14 years with his maverick ways, multiple projects, debts, denials of consequences of actions, lack of coherent plans, unfinished business, disorganised paperwork/files etc. etc.. we are in marriage counselling at the moment.. I am saddened by the fact that I need to get away from my husband for my own wellbeing.. we have two wonderful kids that we both adore (13 and 10).. but I fear what will become of me if I stay. My husband says i will ruin his life, the children's lives if I leave. I don't think this.. but I am scared of the consequences on the children.. We have little money at the moment, largely due to his failed businesses and lack of work for almost 5 years (he is working at the moment). I felt a big obligation to fix him - I think I did try to 'save' him when we met but i was young and didn't realise he had such big problems.. I'd like some advice from women who have divorced men with ADHD... please. I am afraid of the mess just continuing after we separate: him falling apart, potentially creating even more problems for myself and maybe the children too.. i am the glue that has kept things going. I don't want to play his saviour, his therapist, his mother any more. I think life would be easier if I could see a way through this to keep my marriage together.. but at the moment I dread my future with him and think I can't go on. Please help.
Submitted by Ener on 05/06/2013.