I've been with my boyfriend who has ADD for almost 4 years. As of today however, I think that we are broken up. The beginning of our relationship was nice, but in the end I guess he just got bored with me. He spends most of his time playing computer games. When he comes home from work (around 4PM) he gets on his computer and doesn't get off until about 1 or 2 AM. Everynight, I go to bed alone. We rarely have deep conversations, we go out together maybe once or twice a month if I'm lucky, and we don't have sex.
I am very sad, depressed, and hurt because it's hard to come home to someone who doesn't seem to care if you're there or not. It's hard to watch someone spend countless hours on a computer game chatting away with the other players while they hardly speak 3 sentences to you all day. It's hard to do the majority of the house work, keep everything in order, make sure the bills are paid on time, and make sure there's food in the house while the other person seems oblivious to it all. It's hard when you have to sleep in the bed by yourself because your partner would rather hang out with his friends all night and ends up crashing at their place.
Today he said that he's just wasting my time because he doesn't want to change. He is afraid to get treatment because he doesn't want to turn into a different person. He likes who his is and he likes having ADD. He said the the problem is him and not me because he holds past resentments towards me because I tried to restrict how much he played his game and how often he stayed the night at his friend's house. He doesn't think that he can be the person that I want him to be because he doesn't have motivation, drive, or focus and probably never will. We can't go out on dates and he can't buy me gifts because he doesn't make a lot of money.
What he doesn't realize is that if he would gone to the dollar store and bought a $1 basket, $1 cheese and crackers, and a $1drink and taken me to the park for a picnic, I would have been the happiest girl in the world. He doesn't realize that if he would have just turned his head towards me when he spoke to me instead of facing the computer screen, I would have felt like he cared about what I had to say. He could have made me gifts for my birthday or christmas and I would have felt loved.
I have cried this entire weekend. I love him to death and would have done anything for him. Whenever he was sick, I was right there by his bedside taking care of him. When he was going to pastry school, I helped him pay for the class so that he wouldn't have to carry the financial load on his own. He dropped out after one semester and he only took one class. It was an online class and he ended up waiting until 10 days before the class ended to start doing his assignments. I don't know what to do. I'm a full-time college student, I have an internship, and I'm in a sorority so it's not like I don't have anything going on in my life. Even with keeping as busy as I do, I don't have any joy in my life, only loneliness and disappointment.