I can only guess

DH seems to be OK with just a hello and goodbye relationship if I weren't trying to get his attention some times....in good and bad ways.  When we talk, it feels like I have to help him get words out. All his responses are thought out for a LONG time (me waiting to hear what he is going to say). I am left with the wondering, Have we done this suspecting/frustration/hurt dance I do to his concealing/diverting/dismissing routine for such a long time that we get deeper and deeper in our negative expectations of each other and it gets worse and worse?  I just can't help KNOWING that he is lying about something.  If I would see my partner hurt or sad, I would want to make sure I tried to understand and solve/ease/understand - not the impish silly routine for attention he just did for me a few minutes ago.  I just don't get it and it makes me have to guess what is going on.

I write these things for my own clarity - to try to accept what I don't want to know.

Guessing Based on the Past, Disconnection, or Present Facts?

Have we done this suspecting/frustration/hurt dance I do to his concealing/diverting/dismissing routine for such a long time that we get deeper and deeper in our negative expectations of each other and it gets worse and worse?  I just can't help KNOWING that he is lying about something.

Do you think this is happening because you are so disconnected in that he is not doing anything particularly BAD, just that he doesn't care (even if it's in his mind) to be judged for his actions/inactions?   I ask this because my husband and I have thought/accused each other of hiding things, but the truth is that we (or at least I) do not want to be judged by him and he doesn't want to  share his thoughts with me...

What do you think he is trying to conceal?

ADHDMomof2

PS Still working on the response to your other question.  It will get done soon...

What impish silly routine

did he just do?  I'm not sure I get what's going on... Does he want attention or is he hiding something?