DH seems to be OK with just a hello and goodbye relationship if I weren't trying to get his attention some times....in good and bad ways. When we talk, it feels like I have to help him get words out. All his responses are thought out for a LONG time (me waiting to hear what he is going to say). I am left with the wondering, Have we done this suspecting/frustration/hurt dance I do to his concealing/diverting/dismissing routine for such a long time that we get deeper and deeper in our negative expectations of each other and it gets worse and worse? I just can't help KNOWING that he is lying about something. If I would see my partner hurt or sad, I would want to make sure I tried to understand and solve/ease/understand - not the impish silly routine for attention he just did for me a few minutes ago. I just don't get it and it makes me have to guess what is going on.
I write these things for my own clarity - to try to accept what I don't want to know.