I DESERVED IT. pt 2.What made me make up my mind to finally leave him.

I ended things today with my husband and made up my mind to no longer continue the relationship.One of the many forums I wrote would explain how bad I was suffering,and still is.The forum subject is( I TOOK OFF MY WEEDING RING TODAY,IT'S OVER,HE USED ME FOR HIS OWN CONVENIENCE),this is the follow up of it .Every one who reads my forums must think that I have alot of courage to stay with such a hypocrite man as him.I suffered constant abuse, and the days he won't abuse me he would do things to piss me off.I have ADHD too and I only realized it from reading and finding exact symptoms they carry, but I also understood their are two types of ADD, mild and severe, I have the mild and my husband has the severe, being with an ADHD spouse, severely symptoms are very excruciating with pain and grief and long term suffering, for their needs only!I came to understanding that if he does not have his way and only his way there is a possibility of infidelity,and misconduct,adolescent behaviors.He cheated on me on the day of my birthday, and I can't seem to get it over,it hurts me and 3 months later I still sometimes cry about that.I don't quit understand where ADHD stands with him carrying another woman to our apartment on the night of my birthday, but all I know is that his excuses makes no sense.This woman that he took home is a woman I knew for 10 years now, and everyone is well acquainted with her, she's a prostitute.He on the other hand knew that she is a prostitute, but what he did not know that rumor has it she has AIDS.Well I walked in on them doing nothing she was in the kitchen when I arrived but they did nothing..And how I know for sure I walked in on them the same time they arrived and then of course I catch an instant ADD and went ballistic.She was out of sight since then.

Today as I was at his apartment, trying to prepare lunch, he wants me to do things and is demanding my little spare time that I have after work.I have two kids to tend to and not three,but he thinks for some reason that I am his mother.He wants me to go to his apartment when my car stars back working, and clean, and wash his clothes, and cook dinner before he gets home.I have no problem with doing things for the man I love but,here's what my everyday is, Monday thru Friday.I have to get up at 4am on mornings to start to work because I work from home,I prepare meals for people,then I have to go out there and deliver it,that goes on till 11.30 am in the morning,then I would go to the grocery and buy back things to do it all over again next day.After that I would come home by where I live and clean and wash or do what I need to do,and then I would lay down for At least 2 hours then he would  pick me up where I would go home by him on evenings and clean,wash and sometimes cook and I don't get home till 8 or 9 at nights ,and by then I have a little preparation to do to get back up at 4 am and do it all over again.What next? why he don't feel sorry for me, I don't know?He is not making things easy for me, and all I am seeing him doing is trying to get me to focus ONLY ON HIM! but that's impossible.I can't dedicate my self to ONLY HIM! he is out of control with this behavior.His demands is high of me, and his expectations, and unrealistic dreams would never come to pass,he craves for a woman,any woman who would build their world around him and only him, but I know for a fact only a woman who is in a desperate need would do as he says and lately as I can recall all women these days are very much independent and do not rely on men to help them financially no more.HATS OFF TO US(HOORAY)!

Today what made me finally make up my mind to leave him is when we were arguing he told me that I DESERVED IT!I DESERVED IT? okay then I really deserved it for him taking the prostitute home on my birthday, that's what he said and all I can remember him saying after that was that "IT GOOD FOR YOU" and that I bought a stupid car.My tears came rolling down like a river stream and all I did was took up my belongings and left..He crossed the line AGAIN,there is no way he could be for real,I gave my life to this ungrateful man and tried to forgive him and then he would turn around and say I deserved it!No one ever deserves to be cheated on or be told they have a stupid car or nothing bad..If he really loved me I don't think he would say all those hurtful things.I am turned off by that now and maybe he thinks that I would come running back to him like I always did but he's wrong I'm not going back again.He would cheat on me again and I would not be lucky twice to get away from aids a second time.He has a high sex drive and the porn is a usual custom, but how long will he turn to porn again for, if i'm no longer there? he would do something soon with somebody and I would not ever take the chance and make back up with him it's over!..........from:lovehurtsalotwithanger.

I wish you the best in your

I wish you the best in your quest for a new, happier life. Some people are just jerks, ADHD or not. I hope you have a good support system. Good luck!

hi waterfall

Hi waterfall thanks for your wonderful comment,and yes I do have a great support system,I have my two wonderful kids,my mother and my friends,hoping that my friends will accept me back though after he made stop calling,or talking to them,I am sure they would forgive me considering the fact it was not me who contributed to it..take care..from:lovehurtsalotwithanger

Something to ponder

First, I'm sorry for all that you are going through. You have a difficult road to walk. That said, I just want to remind you of something....you have complete control over what is going on. It might not seem like it but when we say things like "he made me stop calling or talking to them"....that's putting ourselves in the victim role and allowing someone else to control the situation. The truth is, we've always had control, but for whatever reason, we gave it away. So, in truth, the best thing we can do to help ourselves is to get to the root of why we would ever let someone do that to us. Forget the other guy, forget why your spouse is acting this way.....you must learn what is at the root of you allowing this to continue. Even if you leave, if you don't reslove that piece of the puzzle, you will keep allowing people to undervalue you and victimize you. The reason I know is I've been working on this issue for over 20 years. I've been physically and verbally abused time and time again my people.....why? Cuz I lack self worth and that stems from childhood trauma and abuse. I'm going to therapy and CoDa meetings and doing everything I can do to get to the root and solve it. I can't control my husband others...just me. Stay safe, be well and get yourself help for your situation. it's our there...believe me. AND at little or no cost. Take good care...God bless Gina B

hi Gina B..

Thanks for your comment, but the truth is I did allow him to control me but not for long because exactly what you stated is so true.",we've always had control" so I took control by finding out his problem, did researches and found this site to help us cope with our marriage.He never wanted me to help him or us and was always defensive to the point of ADHD discussions,I have had child hood trauma and abuse also but I never really let it affect me to the point of being taken advantage on.My spouse is really the only person i allowed to interfere with me so intensely because I really did love him and was trying to make it with him,but I ended that by simply walking away from it.I did all I could to resolve it with triple efforts and plenty tears and sorrows but sort to think after 1 year 2 months of trying with little to none changes, I decided time to part.thanks again Gina B for your comment,god bless too,...from:lovehurtsalotwithanger...